Through The Fog of Life

Postpartum life is different than any other phase of life that I’ve experienced. Nothing about life seems the same as pre baby. A lot of that is ok....a lot of isn’t ok.


I went through a lot of fertility drugs and surgeries to finally become pregnant with my daughter (who is now 16 months old). I had pre eclampsia at 38 weeks and was induced for 3 days and finally had an emergency c-section in the middle of the night. It was a traumatic birth. I was also in the hospital for a week and very sick with pre eclampsia. For several months after going home I had scary blood pressure health issues that brought me in and out of the hospital, calling 911, multiple dr appointments and then brought on postpartum anxiety and depression. I was able to stop the medication for blood pressure, return to a low key exercise program and try to get my body healthy. I was diagnosed with endometriosis right before I started IVF and it came back with a vengeance, I believe after being put on medication that made it worsen. After seeking out several experts, I was finally changed to a new medication that should provide some relief after a few months. I have a registered dietitian, changed to many workout plans and lifestyle habits but have still been left with a postpartum body greatly affected by IVF hormones, postpartum problems (diastasis recti, etc) and unable to shed any weight.

My daughter is the light of my life. She looks like my mom (who I lost to cancer in 2013) and fills me with hope for living life.

We were in a car accident in September 2019 and thank God my baby was ok. I suffered a traumatic brain injury and still receive treatment for its effects. I deal with the aftermath in my brain functioning every day and pray my brain will heal with time and treatment.

No one prepares you for postpartum life. My body isn’t even remotely the same. It does not respond the same to various diet plans from my dietician, to exercise or to daily life. I’ll forever be grateful for my child and the ability to bring her into the world. That being said, I feel like part of me is gone and I don’t know if I can ever get back the high level of health that my body used to embody. Fitness and health are my degrees, passion and life ambitions for decades of my life. It’s a life change to not have that presently and I hope and pray I will again in the future. I’m so grateful for my baby though!! She’s my world! <3